


In the Shadow of the Wall

by 682ILVU, 683N0TiZ_Mii



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Multi, OC/Levi/OC, OC/OC - Freeform, Polyamory, Slow Burn, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:07:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28372890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/682ILVU/pseuds/682ILVU, https://archiveofourown.org/users/683N0TiZ_Mii/pseuds/683N0TiZ_Mii
Summary: Following a sharp drop in recruits, the military has imposed a draft on all able-bodied civilians aged 16 and older that are not already in essential positions. Though the Survey Corps is bleeding soldiers left and right, Captain Levi holds little hope for the ragtag group of people the draft drags in. However, there are two women that catch his eye. The first, Samira Horne, is a soft-spoken, accomplished huntress that has tangled with titans on many occasions and has escaped with her life against the odds. The second is Natalia Faraday, a hot-headed medic with a distaste for authority and a determination to whittle away at what little sanity the captain has left. As these three unlikely companions aid each other in humanity's struggle for survival, what will become of them? Will they fall in love or fall in flames? Only time will tell.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 6





	1. The Draft Corps

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for checking out our story! This work is on a bit of a hiatus as we are currently working on other projects, but we will hopefully pick it back up soon.

He wasn’t a tall man, but he made up for it in his presence. Cold grey eyes surveyed the wide array of drafted recruits: some were still only sixteen, while others must have been in their sixties or seventies. For just a moment, those eyes fell upon her, and Samira felt her stomach drop to her feet. A curious feeling, and one she hadn’t felt in a long time. Not since she’d looked a titan in the mouth.

There was a calculating intelligence in his gaze, like he was sizing up each one for the slaughter. A very likely slaughter. The courtyard was quite warm, but she felt a shiver trail down her spine. She felt like she was being hunted again.

“Consider this your only warning. At any given time during these next few months, I will attack you. How you react will determine your placement in the military.” He announced, and the crowd shifted uncomfortably. Some of these people came from the underground and had probably only seen drawings of titans. None of them were fit for battle.

But the Survey Corps had been desperate. Their numbers had plummeted over the last few years, due in part to the incredibly-high mortality rate associated with the unit and in part to the subsequent fear that said rate had instilled in the trainees. Some claimed that joining the Survey Corps was suicide. Others cried “madness!” No one willingly joined the Corps unless they were a little off or had nothing left to live for. Hence, the Corps’ desperation. They lost too many soldiers and gained too few.

Without fail, those best suited for slaying titans would join the Military Police, and most of the rest joined the Garrison. With their dwindling numbers, Commander Erwin had been forced to propose a draft of the citizens. It wasn’t well met within the walls, but the petition had been approved nonetheless. The plan was to have the Garrison round up any able-bodied civilians from the fields and underground city and to have the Survey Corps oversee their training. Most of the drafted soldiers would remain with the Corps, while those deemed unfit would be sent to the Garrison to protect the walls. It wasn’t a good plan, nor was it an easy decision to make for any of the parties involved, but it was necessary for the survival of the human race.

Captain Levi scowled at the mess of civilians with distaste. He didn’t like this plan. To him, it didn’t matter how badly the Corps needed soldiers. Everyone in front of him would most likely die on their first mission, and they would have gained nothing. Nothing, but a slew of pointless deaths. Still, it was his job to test them, and it wouldn’t do anyone any good to go easy on the piss-poor excuses for soldiers.

It took him almost a week to even start going after people. Everyone slept poorly the first couple of days, which was strange to Samira, because she was used to being the only one awake at night. Samira counted mostly for the fields, but she was a hunter and trapper beyond the wall. Every day she used to go out either alone or with other trappers to bring back meat into the walls. They sold most of it to the Garrison who’d pass it along to markets and public food plans.

Captain Levi's first victim was a man who believed himself to be destined for the police force. He was a big man to be sure, but he was slow and Captain Levi knocked him down with little effort. He broke one of the man’s ribs and left him hospitalized for a long time. It was then that people began to fear the Captain.

For Samira, fear was an old friend. An annoying friend, but one that had kept her alive longer than any other. She was always vigilant, and honestly, she didn’t sleep that much to begin with. In the training runs she would always shift so she was downwind whether she meant to or not, and she was always quick. 

* * *

Two months passed before he finally came after her.

_Her back was pressed against a tree, and her heart hammered in her chest so loudly she was afraid they’d hear her. Each of their footfalls caused the forest to shake, and her feet would slide on the icy branches. She worried she’d fall from her perch and that they would catch her._

_Suddenly, everything was still. She wondered if they had gone for only half a second, before she chided herself. She would have felt them leave. Sucking in a breath, she looked down._

_One of them stared up at her and grinned a sickly, toothy smile. Then it grasped the tree and shook. Her limbs flailed for half a second, and she was falling into an open mouth._

_Her eyes snapped open, her body still shaking. She heard a creak behind her and her whole body jerked to her feet. A fist flew at her head and she ducked. Her bunk was against a wall, so she braced a foot against it and propelled herself into him. She heard him gasp as they both hit the floor, and she rolled back into a fighting stance._

Others were awakening, and one of them had been so startled they had fallen out of bed. The heavy thud caused a fresh injection of energy and panic to well up inside of her and she promptly sprinted outside. She moved as quickly as she could, making a dead run into the night, the fear from her dream still rampant. Samira finally heard the commotion behind her and she doubled over, gasping for air. She was almost to the stables, she realized, unaware she’d run so far. She leaned on a tree before recoiling away from it and sinking to her knees, trying to calm herself down.

Levi sat up slowly, his head spinning a little from the impact. He looked for her, a bit worried she’d injured herself. He spotted her just as she ducked outside the door and ran. “Really?” He muttered to himself. He got up and started after her.

“You’re not supposed to be out this late.” The voice behind her startled her.

“Are you going to try to hit me again, Captain?” She rose and turned slowly to face him. His cravat was just slightly out of place from their tussle, but his eyes were filled with amusement.

“Is that why you ran?” She felt heat creep into her cheeks.

“You...surprised me, sir.” She was still shaking, and she crossed her arms over her chest.

“You surprised me too, Horne. Congratulations, you are the first to have hit me.”

“Well...the wall deserves some credit too.” She muttered. He raised his eyebrows at this, and she closed her eyes, expecting to be smacked for her insolence.

“Go back inside, Cadet.” He left without ceremony, and she had no choice but to return to her awe-stricken teammates.

“Are you okay?” One another cadet, a woman with really long blonde hair, was waiting with bandages.

“Yeah, he never actually hit me. I think...I think I actually made him smile.”

“What?! Impossible!” Her jaw actually dropped a little.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Samira shook her head. “I’m going to try to sleep some more before we have to begin training.” She knew it wasn’t going to happen, but it was a nice thought, anyway.


	2. Attack on Soup

Talia beamed as she sat down with a large bowl of potato soup. Nothing made her happier than hot soup on a chilly day. Just as she was about to take a bite, she felt the sharp edge of a blade against her throat. Launching her meal over her shoulder with a shriek, Talia grabbed the knife and spun around to face her would-be attacker. The man standing behind her was the last person she’d expected. Captain Levi seemed to be momentarily stunned as chunks of vegetables slid off of his cheeks and struck the floor with a messy  _ plop. _ Leaping to her feet, Talia saluted him quickly, as though she hadn’t just assaulted him with food.

“Captain Levi, sir, what can I do for you?” she smiled, despite the horror of both losing her food and the manner in which it was lost.

“What...the fuck...did you just do?” Levi growled.

“I...uh...panicked?” Talia struggled for a moment to find the proper words to say to get herself out of trouble, “I mean, you  _ did _ pull a knife on me.”

“So you threw your fucking soup at me?!” he yelled, attracting the attention of most of the dining hall.

At that Talia snapped. How  _ dare _ he?! She was just defending herself! “The fuck was I supposed to do?” she shouted into his face, glaring down at him, “You fucking came out of nowhere and tried to kill me, and I fucking reacted. Sorry I got your precious uniform dirty,  _ sir _ . Actually, no, I’m fucking not, because you goddamn scared the shit out of me, you asshole! And now I’m out of soup because of you!”

There was a split second of silence as Talia finished her tirade. As soon as that moment passed, she felt an intense pain where Levi’s boot connected with her gut. Talia stumbled back into the bench as Levi aimed a punch for her face. She turned just in time to avoid getting her nose broken, but his fist struck her cheek with a force that sent her careening over to the floor on the other side of the table. Her fellow cadets hurried to get out of the way as Levi stepped up over the top of the wooden benches so that he towered over the mouthy girl. Talia flinched and hurried to stand, taking what she hoped passed for a fighting stance. Honestly, hand-to-hand combat was not her strong suit. She was quite certain that Levi would murder her, but at least she would try to put up some semblance of a fight. Another sharp kick struck her guarding arm with bruising force, and Levi slammed her against the wall with a hand around her throat.

“You little bitch,” he hissed as he leaned his face closer to hers in an attempt to seem more intimidating, “Where to do you get off talking to me like that?”

Talia’s heart was pounding as she struggled, once again, to gather her thoughts. She didn’t have much to live for, but she still didn’t want to die. Levi tightened his chokehold, effectively cutting off her air.

“Well? Where’s that attitude you had a minute ago? Can you actually live up to it, or are you just talk?”

Black spots danced in her vision. Shit, this was bad. She had to come up with something to make him go away and quickly. Gasping for air, she squirmed to alleviate the pressure on her throat and buy herself more time. A solution came to her in a moment of oxygen-starved insanity. Without thinking about any further consequences, Talia tilted her head slightly and dragged her tongue up the side of his face. Making a disgusted sound, Levi stepped back and let her fall to the floor. Unfortunately, her victory was short-lived. Another kick from Levi knocked her completely unconscious. He wanted to beat her to a bloody pulp for the stunt she’d just pulled, but restrained himself. Instead, he left to concoct a brutal cleaning regimen to force her to complete when she woke up. If she insisted upon being disgusting, then he’d punish her with cleaning. It was only fitting.

No one dared to so much as breathe until several minutes after Captain Levi had completely disappeared from sight. Talia remained motionless in a crumpled heap on the floor, her calm breathing the only indication that she was still alive. Wincing, Samira stood and hastily collected her newfound acquaintance, depositing her in her previous seat at the table. The girl quietly finished her meal, while glancing at Talia’s unconscious form every so often to confirm that she hadn’t died. Eventually, Samira was forced to drag the girl back to the bunkhouse, because she still hadn’t woken up. She dropped Talia on what she thought was her bed, before gratefully flopping into her own. After a long, strange, and exhausting day, Samira could only hope that she’d be able to catch a few extra minutes of sleep. She wasn’t sure if they’d actually help, given her inability to sleep for more than a few hours straight, but it was a wonderful notion all the same.


	3. Learning the Hard Way

_ The tree was shaking again.  _

Samira woke up covered in a cold sweat. Her throat was raw, and she quickly realized she’d woken up everyone else in the vicinity. Cadets all around her were staring at her. Heat rushed back into her cheeks, and she quickly rose from her bunk and left the building. She didn’t stray beyond the porch, lit by still burning torches. She leaned on the railing and looked out of the dark and open training grounds. It was a relief to see the courtyard and the other buildings. She was on the right side of the wall now.

She could hear their whispers behind her, speculating as to what would have caused that. There were a few snickers and people guessed that she wasn’t cut out to be a soldier. 

“Samira?” Talia’s voice was weak, and she was limping as she joined Samira by one of the torches. “Are you okay?” 

“Are you?” Samira stared at the poor blonde. “He kicked your ass.” 

“And he will pay for that.” Her eyes glittered dangerously. “I’ll be fine. He didn’t break anything, even though he gave me some awful bruises.” 

“He’s…”

“Scarier than the titans?” Talia half laughed as she joined her. 

“No.” She thought of the titan shaking the tree again. “Not quite.” Her knuckles turned white on the railing.

“Samira...did you...dream of that day?” Talia asked, watching her face. 

“No...but it was like that day. I’m sorry, they seem to be getting worse. I’ll probably have to start sleeping somewhere else.” She ran a hand through her hair. She supposed the horses wouldn’t mind her screaming. 

“It’s not your fault. Besides, where would you sleep?” 

“The stables would be just far enough away. I’ll just sneak out when everyone else has gone to bed.” It was already starting to make sense to her. 

“Fine. Then I’ll come get you in the mornings so you don’t miss breakfast. Speaking of...I never did get to actually eat my soup,” Talia sighed, “Such a waste of perfectly good food.”

* * *

The pair stayed out on the porch for the remaining few hours of the night, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. When the sun finally rose, they dressed and left for an early breakfast. Talia yawned loudly and hurried to fetch her ration. However, it was not meant to be. As soon as she sat down to eat, a hand snatched her small loaf of bread off her plate faster than she could blink. Whirling around, she prepared to murder whatever stupid fucker  _ dared _ to take what little food she had. To her further annoyance, she came face-to-face with Captain Levi, who deliberately took a large bite out of her bread once she made eye contact with him.

“You son of a bitch,” she hissed.

“Watch it, Cadet,” Levi smirked, “from this day onward, I own you. You do what I say the moment I tell you to do it. Understand?”

“Nobody  _ owns  _ me, you prick. Now give me back my food!” she snarled and lunged for the bread. He dodged easily and bit off another large hunk of her breakfast. Talia froze.

“I’ve owned you since the moment you joined the military,” Levi corrected her, “And you’re going to learn to do as you’re told.”

“Oh? And how exactly do you plan to  _ teach _ me,  _ sir _ ?” she spat, eyes blazing with hatred.

“For starters, I’m going to eat the rest of this.” Levi gestured to the bread, amusing himself by taking another bite and watching her scowl deepen, “Then you’re going to scrub the entire basement of this castle until it’s spotless, and you’re not going to stop until you’re finished.”

“But that could take all day!” Talia protested.

“Better get started then. Unless, of course, you want to skip dinner again.”

She glared and saluted him sharply.

“When I give you an order, Cadet, you say ‘Yes, Sir’.”

“Yes, Sir,” Talia snarled.

“And lose the attitude. I have no qualms about depriving you of meals for a few days.”

“Yes, Sir!” she chirped with as much feigned cheer as she could muster.

“That’s better, now get moving.”

“Yes, Sir!”

“You really shouldn’t egg him on, you know,” Samira said softly, having watched the whole scene unfold, “You only make it worse for yourself.”

“I can’t help it,” Talia sighed, “That short, sadistic bastard really pisses me off.”

Samira tore her bread in half and offered a piece to Talia, “Still, you should be more careful.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she replied with a grin. She was fairly certain Samira might actually be an angel or something.

“Besides, aren’t you afraid of Captain Levi?”

“Not really. I mean, I know I should be, but it’s kinda hard to actually fear him.”

“This morning you said he was scarier than titans.”

“I may have exaggerated a bit. Honestly, I can’t be that afraid of him when I think about the reason for his shitty personality.”

“Which is?”

“He’s probably just compensating for having a tiny dick.”

Samira’s eyes widened in horror as Talia snickered at her own joke.

“You think about my dick often, Cadet?”

Talia yelped and jumped a foot into the air.

“What the-? When did you get there, you sneaky bastard?!” the blonde shrieked.

“I came to see why you weren’t following orders and to confiscate this,” Levi took the half of Samira’s bread that had been Talia’s saving grace a moment ago.

“What? Nooooo,” Talia whined.

“You can clean the basement  _ and _ the first floor today. No meals until you’re done.”

“FUCK YOU!”

“I’m punishing you, Cadet, not rewarding you.”

Levi smirked as Talia’s face turned beet red from his comment, and returned, once again, to his table. While she annoyed the hell out of him, he had to admit that pushing her buttons was actually rather entertaining. It was a shame she had such a hard time following orders. He almost didn’t want to break her spirits now, but it needed to be done.

“And you, you can clean the bathrooms. Helping someone disobey direct orders is as bad as disobeying them yourself.” He snapped at Samira. He took what was left of both of their rations. Talia was shaking with rage, but Samira gulped down the rest of her water, knowing she’d need to fill her stomach with something to have enough strength for the rest of the day. Talia watched her a moment. 

“Fill up.” Samira advised. “You’ll need something to keep yourself going until you can eat later.”

She would sometimes go a day or two without food during the time outside of the wall, eating bark off the trees to fill her stomach. She shuddered at the thought, but got up to start their cleaning for the day. Talia drank up her water too and followed her, muttering curses upon the cocky bastard for an eternity to come. 

* * *

“Aren’t you being a little hard on Faraday?” Sorrenson asked, when Levi sat back down.

“She needs to learn to follow orders,” Levi growled, his mildly-good humor vanishing at the sight of the annoyingly-chipper woman that insisted upon sitting next to him.

“Really? Faraday hasn’t shown any problems with insubordination over the past two months,” Sorrenson mused, “She must just have an issue with you. Maybe you should apologize or do something nice for her!” True to her unofficial title of Corps Counselor, Captain Sorrenson did her best to ease the tension between Levi and the unfortunate cadet that had incurred his wrath.

“Like hell.” Sorrenson could try all she wanted, but Levi was having none of her feel-good, let’s all be friends bullshit. Her skills weren’t good enough to put up with her smothering attitude. He still wasn’t sure how she’d become a captain, and he questioned that particular decision every time they were forced to interact. 

* * *

Samira assumed that she would not be getting a dinner to potentially share with Talia until she was done with the bathrooms. Still, it was only one area, so she figured it wouldn’t take her that long. 

That was until she saw that both the men’s and women’s were caked in an oily black grime. She tied a handkerchief around her nose and mouth and scrubbed with all of her might. 

“When was the last time that someone cleaned these?” She grumbled to herself. “If you are fortunate enough to have them, the least you could do is keep them nice...and sanitary.” She made a face under her homemade mask. 

She kept scrubbing until her arms were sore. It was dark before she was anywhere near done. She knew she’d missed her own supper by now. And lunch. And most of breakfast. Her stomach growled softly, but she ignored it. She’d gotten too used to regular eating schedule anyway. 

“Cadet.” She froze at Captain Levi’s voice. 

“Sir?” She rose and spun to face him. 

“I didn’t say that you were not to report to meals.” He was holding a small bun from dinner. 

She expected him to eat it in front of her, just to spite her. 

He wandered into the bathroom and looked around. “This is the second day you have been assigned to clean, isn’t it?” 

“Yessir.” She waited for him to decide how the exchange was going to go. 

“You’ll make a piss-poor soldier if we don’t train you.” He sighed in irritation. She clenched her brush a little tighter. “Well?” He turned back to her, expecting her to say something. 

“It is not my job to question orders, sir.” She said simply, and he grinned. He tossed the bun in the air once and caught it.

“Well...I see you’re one of the eager-to-please types.” He leaned in fairly close to her face, as if he were trying to intimidate her.

She watched him carefully, like she’d watched the bear out in the wilderness. One wrong move and she would die, but then, without him, she supposed she wouldn’t survive. 

“I was told that is our job, sir.” She stared deep into his eyes, surprised by her own boldness in doing so. But in spite of everything, she realized, as her breathing remained calm, he was no bear. And he was also no titan. 

“Obeying the right orders will keep you alive.” he said. “But a lack of precision will kill you just as quickly as disobedience. Still, you worked hard today. There’s soup in the mess hall for you. You’ll be eating while the officers are having tea, so eat quickly and quietly.” He pressed the bun into her palm. “Dismissed. I’ll see you in there.” 

“I haven’t finished the bathrooms.” She gripped the bun more tightly than she’d intended smushing it in her hand

“Dismissed, Cadet.” he said in annoyance, and she hurried toward the kitchen. “Most jobs will go unfinished.” he muttered after her, and for just a second when she looked back, she thought he looked almost worried. She wondered if he’d taken pity on Talia too as she hurried toward the mess hall.

* * *

Levi stalked through the first floor of the castle in search of the annoying cadet, Faraday. He couldn’t help but notice how little had been done to it. Hell,  _ nothing _ had been done. Lazy bitch had probably just slacked off all day. If she’d at least  _ pretended _ to put forth an effort toward her cleaning, he  _ might _ have been willing to only punish her a little for failing to complete her orders. Having reached the end of the first floor with no sign of Faraday, he turned on his heel and strode toward the nearest staircase to the basement. If that place wasn’t at least halfway decent, he was going to kill her – the draft be damned! Levi wrenched open the door and stormed down the stairs, slamming into the object of his wrath on the way.

Talia let out a startled gasp and dropped the bucket of cleaning supplies she was carrying as she attempted to catch herself. A hand locked around her wrist just before she tumbled down the stone steps. She looked up at Levi in surprise. Honestly, she wouldn’t have put it past him to just let her fall – which he did a moment later, once she’d somewhat caught her balance. Talia sank into a puddle on the stairs, too exhausted to get up.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Levi snapped, nudging her with the toe of his boot

“Dying,” Talia whimpered, “I thought you’d be happy to hear that.”

Scoffing, Levi grabbed her elbow and pulled up off the ground. He impatiently tugged her towards the basement. “If this place isn’t spotless, I’m going to make you lick it clean,” he growled, only partially joking.

“Gross,” Talia hissed with a grimace.

She prayed to any god, deity, angel, or devil willing to listen that her cleaning standards were on par with his. Whoever answered her did not disappoint. Levi froze and the bottom of the stairs, causing Talia to crash into him. Wincing, she jumped back, expecting to be kicked (or at the very least, yelled at). However, nothing happened. The captain walked around the room slowly, inspecting every nook and cranny with wide eyes. This was probably the cleanest the storeroom had been since it was constructed. Every surface was dusted. The floors were scrubbed until they shined dully in the torchlight. Even the mortar between the stones looked clean and new. The high, vaulted ceilings were free of cobwebs for the first time in years – a feat he couldn’t quite believe Talia had accomplished without help. Not a single thing was out of place. Levi moved onto the next room, and the next, finding the same thing in each one. The cadet had even organized the supplies in a logical manner, which was another rare occurrence in itself. He returned to where he’d left Talia to find her collapsed on a box of spare ODM gear parts. She looked utterly exhausted.

“Everything okay, sir?” she asked softly.

“Perfect,” the word slipped out before Levi could stop it. He was having a hard time hating her as much as he had the previous day, but praising her still left a sour taste in his mouth.

Talia grinned and said, “That’s good. I’m sorry I didn’t get to the next floor yet, but this place was a mess. I figured it would be better to do the basement well than to half ass both floors.”

Levi nodded, “You can finish tomorrow. Go get some rest.”

“Thank you, sir,” Talia grimaced as her stomach protested its emptiness for what was probably the hundredth time that hour, “May I, erm, get something to eat first?”

“I suppose you’ll be sick if you don’t,” Levi sighed, “Then you’ll be completely useless.”

“I’ll probably die,” Talia solemnly agreed.

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

Talia rose to follow Levi as he started up the stairs, but her legs gave out from under her. The crash and subsequent swearing brought the captain back down to the basement to find the cadet trying – and badly failing – to extract herself from the crate that had previously served as her seat. Talia flailed about for a moment before giving up with an annoyed huff. She just didn’t have the energy to care anymore. Someone would eventually have to come down to the supply room, and she could probably convince them to help her. Unless that someone was Levi. That short bastard would probably just leave her there. Sighing, Talia leaned her head back and resigned herself to starvation. There were worse ways to die, she reasoned. None that she could think of, except maybe titans, but she was certain starvation couldn’t be the worst thing.

“You just giving up?” Levi asked, eliciting a startled shriek from Talia, who hadn’t noticed his return, “Pathetic.”

Glaring at him as best she could in her weakened state, Talia snapped, “Well  _ excuse me _ . For your information, I haven’t eaten since last night! And even then, I only got like five bites of bread, because you made me lose my soup! I’m hungry dammit! And I’m tired because I’ve been cleaning this stupid, filthy basement all day!”

“You know, if you want people to help you, you should try not yelling at them,” Levi chided with a smirk plastered across his face.

“And if you want people to like you, you should try not being an ass,” Talia retorted, smirking right back at him, though hers was admittedly not as effective.

“I’ll help you out of the box if you say ‘please’,” Levi teased. At least Talia thought he was teasing. It was kind of hard to tell with him.

“Oh, Captain Levi, you’re so strong and handsome!” Talia simpered sarcastically, “Won’t you pretty please help me out of this damned box so I can eat some fucking food?!”

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” Levi paused for a moment, “No.”

“Oh, fuck you!”

Talia swore she heard him chuckle at that, but decided it was delirium. She groaned and leaned her head back again.

After a moment of silence, Levi asked, “You really can’t get up, can you?”

She didn’t respond. Sighing, the captain walked over to check on her, only to find that she’d passed out. His nose wrinkled in disgust at the state of her clothes, but he picked her up anyway and carried her limp form up the stairs. Talia murmured something he didn’t quite catch and nuzzled her face against his chest. Levi rolled his eyes and made his way toward the barracks. They passed the mess hall on the way, and as they did, Talia jolted upright, smashing her forehead into Levi’s jaw. Apparently the scent of food had resuscitated her, though she thought she might faint again from the concussion she likely had.  _ Was this man made of steel or something? _ Levi glared and dropped her onto the floor, but she bounced right back up and made a beeline for the kitchens. He shook his head, the smallest of smiles forming on his lips. Never, in all his years, had he seen a woman so solely motivated by food. He’d have to remember that in the future. The captain entered the mess hall to find Talia carrying three bowls of soup and balancing a plate of bread on her head. She slowly joined Samira, who was staring at her incredulously. She of course only had one small ration, and hadn’t seen so much food in her life. 

“Oi, Faraday!” Levi shouted at her from across the room, “Don’t be greedy! You only get one ration!”

“Yeah, but I’m owed two other rations for today, so you can shove it up your-!” Talia’s rant was cut off by Samira, who took a loaf of bread off her tray and shoved it into her mouth. She munched on it happily and set her food down on the table. Levi was tempted to have another go at her, but decided to let the matter rest. He had some urgent business to discuss with the other elite members of the Corps, who would be meeting him there soon.


	4. Fragile Hope

Samira watched as the officers filed in with somber looks on their faces. She was surprised they were allowed to be there, and even more surprised when Captain Levi sat directly between the two of them, forcing his way into the small space that separated the two girls. Samira scooted for him and Talia just ignored him, happily digging into her meal. 

Captain Levi only had a cup of tea, yet Samira felt like she needed to give him space. He held the cup with his whole hand over the top, sipping at the edge while he dangled it in front of his face. She watched him curiously for a moment, before his eyes flicked over to her and she stared self-consciously into her soup. 

“Would you like some tea, too?” Squad Leader Hanji joined them on Samira’s other side. 

“Oh, um, thank you.” She accepted the cup as it was passed to her. She drank her own tea gratefully, the warmth spreading through her skin. It was almost gone, but she set it down for a moment to look over at him again. He was getting annoyed at Talia’s antics as she consumed more rations than Samira could ever eat and turned back to Samira again. Never taking her eyes off of his, she lifted her teacup up by the handle and stared at him pointedly as she drank her tea like a normal human being. 

His eyes narrowed, and she could tell he was trying to assess whether she was taunting him or not. She raised her eyebrows at him and a scowl began to spread all the way across his face. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, Commander Erwin entered. 

“Grave news has come to our attention.” he announced, and everyone fell silent to listen. Even Talia stopped eating for a moment to look up at him. “The damage to Wall Maria is worse than we initially thought. One of the gates has been compromised. It is believed even a small titan would be able to penetrate it in the state it is in now.” 

“Not a good enough reason to use the word penetrate,” Talia whispered, and Samira stared at her in horror. There was a loud bang as Captain Levi stabbed a knife into the table centimeters away from Talia’s hand. She squeaked in terror and clutched her hand to her chest, watching Levi warily.

Everyone turned to stare at them, and Samira felt the heat creep into her cheeks. 

“Sorry, Commander, please continue.” Captain Levi said smoothly, as though nothing had happened. He gave Talia a cold look that dared her to say anything else. She closed her mouth, swallowing the angry tirade that had been on the tip of her tongue, and looked down at her soup as though it were the most interesting thing in the world.

“As it stands now...we do not have the manpower to complete the task of keeping the area titan free while construction is conducted on the gate. This means we will need to bring out some of the new recruits. Ideally, the newest troops will remain closest to the gate on either side, while the more seasoned soldiers will be further out, preventing the titans from coming anywhere close to the gate.” Erwin looked grave. “Still, a few of the seasoned soldiers will need to remain inside the gates in the unlikely event that titans should breach the gate to prevent casualties if the civilians need to be evacuated.” 

“So we will need to take some further out into the field.” Captain Levi said, matter-of-factly. 

“Can’t we just borrow from the Garrison?” Sorrenson asked, looking upset, “The new recruits aren’t ready for combat.” 

“Neither is the Garrison,” Mike Zacharius cut in, “Either way we’ll be sending soldiers to their deaths.”

“The Garrison still has more experience with the gear!” Sorrenson argued. 

“We’ll need the Garrison on the walls,” Erwin said, halting what would surely be a heated discussion, “They’ll be doing their part to keep the titans at bay.” 

“So we’ll be killing titans and dodging cannons,” Mike grumbled.

“What, are you not fast enough?” Captain Levi smirked at him. 

“The newbies aren’t!” Sorrenson rounded on Captain Levi, hoping he would agree with her. She needed  _ someone _ to side with her on this. Surely they wouldn’t send them to their deaths before they’d even graduated to full members of the Corps!

“Hopefully the cannons will not be necessary because they won’t get that close.” Erwin broke them up again. “Ideally, they won’t come close enough to cause problems.”

He sat down and spoke with a few other faces that Samira and Talia didn’t recognize.

“They’ll smell us miles off and come closer,” Hanji murmured, rubbing her temples. 

“Not if the wind is in the right direction. Their sense of smell isn’t really that acute,” Samira said mostly to herself. 

“Really, they don’t notice downwind?” Her voice was still hushed, but Hanji perked up. 

“Not if you’re hidden. If they can’t see you, they won’t notice you downwind. You have to be very careful not to move much or they’ll hear you though.” She looked at her hands, trying to push back the unwanted memories that came flooding into the forefront of her mind. 

“Where did you learn all of this?” Hanji leaned uncomfortably close to her, excitedly clasping Samira’s hands in hers. 

Captain Levi’s eyes flicked back over to her, his attention caught by Hanji’s outburst.

“I used to hunt outside the walls with the trappers.” she said in a small voice. “We ran into them sometimes, of course.” It was only a little bit of a lie. 

Captain Levi regarded her curiously. Her teacup shook in her hand as her memories tormented her again. 

She closed her eyes for just a moment.

_ Light came through a tiny slit as the hot mouth closed around her. She scrambled to find any footing at all, and ended up digging her hunting knife into the base of one of the teeth. This made the mouth open again, and she used the opportunity to jam her bow into the tongue to keep it propped open. With strength she didn’t think she possessed, she leapt out of the mouth and back toward the tree. By a miracle, she was still close enough to grab onto a branch and make her way up even higher. She held onto the tree once again with everything she had. She heard a snap behind her as it broke her bow in its mouth and her eyes snapped open again.  _

Hanji had just snapped her fingers right in front of Samira’s nose. She surprised all of them by jumping. 

“Did you fall asleep?” Hanji teased. 

“No, I...I suppose I did.” Samira flushed.

“I heard Levi is working the troops hard this time,” Hanji said sympathetically.

“Nothing short of what they deserve,” Captain Levi retorted, casting a sideways glance at Talia, who had paused in the middle of enthusiastically eating her soup.

Talia was staring at Samira with concern all over her face. But then, she was the only one who knew that Samira couldn’t get a night of peace. 

“No, but we need them alive to fight.” Hanji laughed, throwing an arm around Samira’s shoulders. “And to share their titan knowledge!” Her eyes glistened dangerously at that last part and Samira’s eyes widened. “So tell me...what else do you know?” 

“Ah, well, I don’t think we really learned anything that would be news to the Survey Corps,” Samira said, shifting under the added weight. 

“Enough, Hanji. These two are in my unit tomorrow and need to get ready.” He grabbed both of their arms and made them all rise at once. “We’re stuck debriefing with Sorrenson...they’ll need all of the energy they can get.” He dragged them away from the table and away from Talia’s third ration. Talia protested and struggled against him, but he was strong enough to make them both leave. Just as they reached the door, they were stopped by Captain Zacharius. 

“Who are these two?” he quietly demanded to know.

“Cadets, obviously,” Captain Levi growled at him. 

He stepped in much closer, and sniffed Samira’s neck, his nose touching her skin and she flinched. Captain Levi jerked her closer to him and away from the creep. She stumbled and had to half hug him to steady herself. Mike turned toward Talia and moved closer. 

“Don’t you fucking dare!” she hissed. He dared anyway, so she punched him straight in his abnormally large nose. 

Captain Levi snickered as Mike stumbled back. Samira felt his shoulder shake as she regained her footing. His grip was still steady on her arm and he ignored their brief moment of contact as he tried to regain his composure. She and Talia stared at him in shock, unaware that the rest of the room was doing the same. When he finally stopped laughing, it was almost like it had never happened, though there was still a hint of a smile on his face as he dragged them outside. They walked in silence for a long time before Samira finally broke it. 

“We’ll be in the scouting unit...isn’t that right, Captain?” Samira asked him softly as he lead them back toward the barracks. 

“Yeah...we’ll be a little ahead of most of them, looking to find and eliminate titans to keep them from getting too close.” He finally let them both go. “We leave in the morning.” 

“Captain…?” Samira began. 

“Yes?” 

She wanted to ask if they would make it back alive, but she realized that voicing it would make it untrue. “Nevermind, I’m sorry, sir.” 

Something in his eyes softened. “Get some rest, Cadets. I can’t keep you alive if you aren’t well rested.” He gave them a small wave and left them standing in something close to wonder. They hadn’t realized his emotional range was wider than just anger. 

“Did he just promise to keep us alive?” Talia gasped in a hushed voice. 

“I...I hope so.” Samira shrugged, but her heart pounded. They were coming back, she told herself. It wouldn’t happen again, it just couldn’t. 


	5. Preparing for the Worst

Despite Captain Levi’s order to rest up for the mission, the girls found it to be nearly impossible. They wandered to the stables in the dead of night, not wanting to irritate their bunkmates. Talia grilled Samira for details about the titans and surviving outside the walls, apologising profusely with every new question that arose. She knew how sensitive the topic was to Samira, and she hated reopening old wounds, but she was terrified to go beyond the gate without knowing everything possible. Hell, since the incident five years ago, Talia had never even  _ looked  _ at that damned stone portcullis that had almost crushed her. And now they were going back – back into that hellhole teeming with monsters.

Talia finally decided that they should try to sleep, because she felt badly enough about even asking the questions. It didn’t seem right to continue denying them both sleep on top of that, but she was scared. She lay beside a sleeping Samira, thinking back to what she did remember beyond the walls. The titans closing in and picking up the ones who’d run the slowest. Even Samira admitted she couldn’t have survived if they hadn’t had the slow ones to distract them. She pulled her knees up to her chest as a few icy pinpoints of panic began to prickle at her skin. 

Samira suddenly jerked into her, her body scrambling in her sleep, and Talia jumped when she started screaming in horror. Talia rolled to her feet to see if something had come in to attack them but quickly realized that Samira was still asleep, her face contorted in pain and fear. She was going to hurt herself at this rate, and so Talia knelt beside her again and pulled her into a tight bear hug, trying to keep her contained. Samira whimpered faintly for a moment, and then she settled some, relaxing into Talia’s tight grip. Her face was wet from tears, but gradually her breathing slowed and she fell into a calmer sleep. Eventually, Talia was able to let her go and try to sleep herself. But the image of Samira’s panicked face made her wonder at how something could be so bad beyond that wall that it tormented her so much later. 

* * *

Samira and Talia dragged their heels as they made their way to the mess hall for breakfast, sick with anxiety over how this day would go. The usual din of chatter permeated the air. Cadets mingled within their cliques, completely unaware that today might well be their last. Talia chewed her bread listlessly, and Samira just picked at hers. When would Commander Erwin announce the mission? How would he decide who stayed and who went? Surely they wouldn’t send the whole Draft Corps, would they? Then again, if the damage to the gates was as severe as the reports made it sound, they would probably  _ have _ to send everyone. Talia grimaced and set down the remainder of her bread, feeling nauseous. She already knew she would have to go. Levi had said as much last night. If only there were a way to get out of it. Maybe she could fake being ill – strictly speaking, it wouldn’t be that big of a lie. But then again, could she really leave Samira behind? Talia didn’t doubt for a second that Samira would follow Levi’s orders to the letter, and she’d already left her behind once. She wouldn’t do it again. At least Levi had promised he’d try to keep them alive. So that was something. It was a small comfort, miniscule really, but it was a comfort nonetheless.

“Attention Cadets,” Erwin’s voice boomed out across the mess hall, silencing it instantly, “I’m afraid I have some grave news. The gate at Shiganshina has been badly damaged by the titans, and it’s up to us to protect it and help the Garrison to repair it. You will be assigned temporary squads within the Survey Corps and Garrison based on the preliminary results from Captain Levi’s assessment. Your squad leaders will call out your names, and you are to report to them immediately. Understood?”

There was a chorus of “yes, sirs!” as the cadets stood and saluted Erwin. Captain Zacharius was the first to round up a group of rookies, followed by Captains Sorrenson and Hanji. Levi was up next, and Talia stiffened.

“Samira Horne, Natalia Faraday, Joshua Prescott, Ashur Klein, and Daniel Riordan, you’re with me.”

After having made his announcement, Levi stalked toward the back of the room. Samira seemed to be absorbed in her thoughts, so Talia nudged her gently and guided her toward their captain. They were joined by a brawny strawberry blonde man in his mid twenties, a dark-haired thirty-something that had more than his fair share of scars, and a brunette teenager that had probably been severely underfed for most of his life, if his looks were any indication.

“You two look like shit,” Levi stated, directing an annoyed glance at the girls, “I thought I told you to get some sleep.”

“Gee, you know just what to say to a girl to make her swoon, Captain,” Talia said, placing a hand on her forehead and feigning a dizzy spell.

“Are you at all capable of being serious?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“When it involves potato soup, then hell yes.”

“Forget I asked.”

“Hey, I was actually being serious that time!”

“Shut up, Faraday.”

Throughout their exchange, the rest of the team remained silent. The men all stared at Levi and Talia with a mixture of shock and awe – after all, the captain had a reputation for not taking shit from anyone, and yet Talia was openly mocking him. Samira just stared at the floor, her usual nightmare constantly replaying in her head. No matter how she tried to push it to the back of her mind, she just couldn’t shake it off. After a minute of bickering, Levi picked up an untouched loaf of bread off the table and shoved it into Talia’s mouth, effectively shutting her up for a moment as she choked.

He lead the group out to a spare classroom to explain the part they would be playing in the restoration of the gate. They would be in the middle of the pack, not too far away from the gate, but close enough to the action so that Levi could be of some use. Sorrenson’s team would be right behind them, acting as backup in the event that they encountered some titans. Levi emphasized that they were to work as a team and follow his every command. He looked pointedly at Talia as he said this, who nodded in reply. She wasn’t  _ stupid _ . Insubordination in camp was one thing, but it wasn’t funny out in the field. It was dangerous and would get people killed. She knew that, and she also knew that if she wanted to live to see the end of this suicide mission, she should listen to what Levi had to say.

Samira fiddled with her hunting knife as Levi addressed them. She didn’t even look at the blade, but the feeling of the worn handle in her hands made her feel safer somehow. She thought about the one she’d lost in the mouth of a titan. She felt the color drain from her face. That time had been really bad, because she’d had to make another bow by carving with an arrowhead. She’d lost two of her most important tools that day.

He finished explaining where each person in their squad would be and how they fit in with the rest of the formation, and then looked at all of them expectantly. 

“Any questions?” He scanned the silent group.

When nobody responded, Captain Sorrenson piped up, “Okay! Well now that that’s out of the way, we should all introduce ourselves, since we’ll be working together in the near future!”

If looks could kill, the glare that Levi sent her would have reduced her to ashes in a second. Sorrenson, however, either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

“You should start by saying your name and where you’re from! Oh! And what do you consider to be your greatest strength?” she chirped, smiling happily at the surprised, confused, and/or annoyed cadets in front of her. No one answered, so she called on Samira, who seemed the least threatening of the group.

“I come from Shiganshina, I suppose...my name is Samira Horne.”

“And your greatest strength?” Sorrenson prodded.

“I guess I’m pretty good at shooting.” Samira shrugged.

“Great! Next?” Captain Sorrenson looked at Talia expectantly.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” the blonde sighed, “Welp, I’m Natalia Faraday, from the Shiganshina area. My greatest strengths are cleaning and bootlegging liquor.” That last comment got her a lot of curious stares.

“That’s, erm, interesting.” Sorrenson wasn’t quite sure what to make of that, but continued to force the cadets to participate in the icebreaking exercise.

Prescott, the blonde man in Squad Levi, was from the Karanese district in Wall Rose. He cheerily explained that he was adept in the art of tailoring. The remaining members of Squad Levi were both from the Underground City. Riordan, the scrawny teen, was a pickpocket and Klein was a self-proclaimed badass. The latter refused to elaborate exactly what that entailed, but the rest of the group decided not to press him for details.

Talia didn’t pay much attention to Sorrenson’s team as they introduced themselves. She was too busy glaring at Avery, the slackass bitch who hadn’t bothered to help them clean up the courtyard a few days prior. Sparks flew as the dark-haired boy sneered back at her. Grant shifted uncomfortably as the tension between them rose. Talia tried not to direct too much of her anger at him, though he got an occasional sharp glance whenever he looked her way. Levi noticed the exchange and slapped the back of her head.

“Hey!” she snapped, turning her glare on her captain

“Quit acting like a five-year-old,” Levi chided.

“Why are you only picking on me?!” Talia protested.

“Because you’re the one on my team.”

She opened her mouth to retort, but then had a better idea. Smirking, Talia waited for the introductions to conclude. After Sorrenson told them more about herself than anyone cared to know, the cadets were dismissed. Before the crowd dispersed, Talia raised her hand.

“Captain Sorrenson!” she called out, glossing over her irritation with feigned happiness, “I couldn’t help but notice that Captain Levi never introduced himself!”

Samira stared at Talia like she’d grown a second head, while Levi looked like he might murder her. Talia smiled as innocently as she could at the irate Captain and gave him a small wave.

“You’re absolutely right!” Sorrenson gasped and turned to Levi, “You should tell us something about yourself!”

“You already know who I am,” Levi snarled, “And I’m perfectly capable of fucking you up, Faraday, so shut your goddamn mouth.”

“You are  _ no _ fun!” Talia complained. Levi took a threatening step towards her, and Sorrenson felt the need to intervene before things escalated to violence.

“Maybe we should go prepare for the mission,” she suggested, her voice quaking slightly out of nervousness.

Levi stared hard at the irritating captain for a moment before shouting, “You heard her! Get moving! You have ten minutes to get your gear and meet me at the stables!”

He stalked out of the room, swiping a punch at Talia as he passed her. She managed to duck under his arm, but lost her balance and toppled over in the process. Deciding that he was too drained from tolerating the idiocy that surrounded him, Levi decided to just keep walking. He’d get her back later. After all, Talia still hadn’t completed the cleaning punishment she’d been assigned.

* * *

When Levi sent them back to retrieve their gear, Samira couldn’t help but bring her bow along. She knew it wasn’t necessary, and that he’d probably make her leave it, but she couldn’t face that terror again without knowing she could survive if she got stuck out there again. Her hands trembled as she tested the pull of the string. It wasn’t well oiled, and it might snap if she used it, but she couldn’t leave it behind. She tucked it and a quiver full of arrows over her back with the other parts of the harness and joined the rest of the cadets preparing to move out. 

Levi raised an eyebrow as she joined them with the bow. 

“Can you move with that thing?”

“Yes sir. My arm mobility is completely unhindered.” 

He shook his head. “Fine then. But you’re dropping it and leaving it the minute it becomes a problem.” 

“Yes sir.” She stared into his eyes, knowing full well she’d abandon them to save her life. 


	6. The Face of Terror

Once everyone was gathered, they saddled up and headed out to the gate. Samira somehow ended up lined up with Levi’s horse. She clenched the reins as the bells tolled. Her jaw tightened and hurt as her knuckles turned white. 

She swallowed hard, just like she did every time she heard them. To her, they were a death sentence, a promise of humanity damning her to her fate. Going through them meant someone might make the decision to leave her to die again. Even though she’d gone through these gates many times, each time brought a fresh pulse of fear into her bones. She closed her eyes for a second as the past overwhelmed her. 

_ They’re leaving us to die. The gates are closing. I...I don’t think I can make it. Talia’s face came into view, just ahead of her. She was clutching Samira’s hand, trying to save her life too. She had tried so hard, but Samira knew they couldn’t make it together. But that didn’t mean Talia had to die. She gave her a shove, hoping the gates wouldn’t crush her. But even if they did, it was better than being eaten she supposed.  _

Talia shivered as the gates loomed into view. Her heart raced as she heard the grinding shriek of the heavy metal chains as they toiled to lift the heavy stone barrier. Images of it falling, almost crushing her, flashed through her mind. Along with them came the memories of the sky painted with blood and shadows; memories of grotesque, leering smiles and the agonizing deaths that they wrought. Titans – they were being forced to face those nightmarish monsters. This wasn’t fair! Nothing about this was okay! They shouldn’t have to fight! It was one thing for the Survey Corps members who had volunteered, who had willinging offered their lives to the service. But Talia wasn’t one of them. Most of the people riding out on this mission had been rounded up like lambs for the slaughter.  _ They shouldn’t have to fight! _

Her bay mare pranced nervously beneath her, jarring Talia from her dark thoughts. She patted her neck to calm her, and then took a few deep breaths to calm herself. Clearing her mind was easier said than done, but if she wanted to make it through this mess, she needed to focus. Eventually, the breathing exercises managed to quell some of the panic rising up inside her. That is, until the bells tolled. The outer gate was about to open. Hell was about to be unleashed. Talia glanced at Levi, remembering his promise and hoping he did as well. He caught her gaze for a brief moment and nodded.  _ He hadn’t forgotten. _

* * *

Samira opened her eyes again as dread washed over her and saw Levi turn to look at her for a moment out of the corner of her eye. But she egged her horse on in time with the rest of their unit. She tried to remind herself that she wasn’t alone, and that she’d prepared some things in case this ever happened again. Her eyes watered a little as panic rose up in her throat.

“Horne.” His voice was low. “Lighten up on the reins or you’ll frighten your horse.” 

She obeyed without speaking, not trusting her voice. 

At first, everything was green and peaceful. The trees swayed and the breeze was gentle, and unseasonably warm. The troops rode in silence as they branched into their respective groups. Some only rode out a few feet from the damaged gate, while the rest branched out in every direction to scout titans. 

Her unit rode beyond the fields, and toward the more wooded area. The trees would make it hard to see if there were titans, but it would allow them to use their ODM gear. As Samira looked up into the trees, she saw the birds and her heart calmed some. The birds usually fled before the titans, so their presence was comforting. 

As they got a little farther though, she saw the birds take wing and she tensed. She drew her bow from her shoulder and gripped an arrow. She heard Talia draw her swords behind her. She hadn’t shot off of a horse before, but she had shot while running once or twice, and this wasn’t much different; she hoped. She was praying it was just them that startled the little creatures, but then the trees shook and she knew the truth. 

As soon as the massive head appeared, she fired an arrow into its eye. It stumbled, and one of the more seasoned soldiers sprang up from behind on the ODM and hit its neck. It dropped and the soldier moved back down to where their horse was. They were still close to the others. But as Samira began to fear, there were more. She nocked another arrow to her bow but saw Levi shake his head. 

“We’re going up!” He announced and his device hissed as he flung himself into the trees. She put them away and followed suit, drawing her swords. She watched as he spun and sliced the back of a balding titan’s neck. The rest of the troops quickly followed them to take out the herd. 

She saw Talia surprise the rest by going up and then spiraling down toward the ground. At first she thought something had malfunctioned, but then Talia sliced some ankles and the beasties began to topple. She almost whistled. The girl definitely knew where there were weak points. Just as Talia moved up to take out one or two of them, Levi sprang in and took them out.

With the monsters out of the way, Talia quickly returned to the trees. She shot her hooks deep into the bark of a giant sequoia and arced around it. Her heart nearly stopped when a giant hand filled her vision. Releasing her anchor points, Talia dropped and stabbed her blades deep into the titan’s meaty fingers. It hissed and tried to shake her off, but she latched onto it with her gear. When it did, finally, send her flying, she used the momentum to swing around and escape to another nearby tree. Talia rebounded off a branch and aimed for its shoulder, where a pressure point would be in a human. She hoped to hell that it would hurt like a bitch if she cut it.

Her new blades sliced deep, rending a steaming hunk of flesh from slightly to the right of her intended target. While the titan didn’t seem to be in pain, it was also having a hard time moving its arm. Talia whirled around in midair and buried her hooks in its elbow, slashing at the rough locations of the pressure points in its wrist and forearm. It reached around to grab at her with its other hand, but she was already plummeting to the ground due to its injured arm going limp. Talia let out a shout of frustration as she tried to retract the gear, but to no avail. A green blur flew past her and cut her gear free of the titan before swooping up to slice at its weak spot.

The titan collapsed, shaking the earth and nearly making Talia miss her shot at a tree. She hauled herself onto a thick branch, panting and looking around for whoever had saved her. Much to her displeasure, Levi landed on a branch above hers. Begrudgingly thanking him, she took a moment to look around and assess the situation. There were a lot of injured soldiers, and undoubtedly more that were dead. A small titan ambled toward a pair of soldiers – one supporting another that seemed to be having trouble staying on his feet.

“Oh no you don’t!” Talia hissed, launching herself toward the four meter monster.

Talia was fast, but Levi was faster. He lopped the titan’s head off in one, swift strike and quickly spun to go after a ten meter colossus that had gotten itself stuck between two trees. Talia grabbed the injured soldier’s free arm and helped the both of them get off the ground. More monsters were crawling out of the woodworks, and they were struggling. She dropped off the branch and swung towards the nearest titan, slashing through the backs of its knees and sending it tumbling to the ground. Talia turned to kill it, only to find it already melting away with a large gauge out of its neck. Levi flew back to the safety of the trees, launching his dulled blades into the eyes of a titan that had tried to eat him on the way. Talia followed his lead, but only remained for a moment before leaving to cripple another titan. Once again, Levi swooped in at the last second to steal her kill, and it was starting to get on her nerves.

Samira could see the fury move across Talia’s face, only to be quickly replaced with concentration as they heard a scream. Samira spun in the gear to see a horrifyingly familiar sight. This made her switch to the bow, in hopes to blind it before it even got close to her. This one was pretty tall, with short hair up top, but a huge, bushy, red beard. Her heart almost stopped. The same face from her nightmare was crunching Cadet Riordan in half. His torso became dislodged and fell from the titan’s mouth, a trail of blood dribbling down his lip and through his beard. 

The titan caught what was left of Riordan, and popped it in its mouth. She felt like throwing up, running, or killing it in a fury. Pure panic kept her from doing any of these things, until it turned around to snag Cadet Prescott out of the air from behind it. She needed to be up higher, so she shot up into a tree and propelled herself skyward. As she was flung upward, she nocked an arrow to her bow. She twisted and fired it with everything she had as the titan lifted Prescott to its lips. It was a long shot, she knew. Likely it wouldn’t get deep enough, but she watched it bury into the back of the neck in the sweet spot. It was all the way down to the feather. She breathed a sigh of relief as her nightmare crumpled to its knees and Levi hit its neck. 

Just then, she was jerked out of the air by a giant hand. She screamed, in spite of herself, as a row of teeth appeared over her head. Just then, the mouth snapped shut again and the grip loosened, propelling her back into the air. Levi swung down and wrapped an arm around her, pulling them into the trees. 

“Can you still move?” he asked in a hurry, pinning her to the trunk so they wouldn’t fall.

“Yeah, nothing broken.” she managed to gasp, her shock quickly being replaced with adrenaline. 

“That was the last of them, we think. We need to find the horses. I’m going to let go of us, so hold onto something so you don’t fall.” He pushed off from the tree and worked on regrouping his scouts. Samira drew a shaky breath, and pushed off herself, drifting back toward the horses. When everyone was back in the saddle, they lucked out and saw a flare. The gate was sealed off, and now they were to return. 

“Everyone back to the wall.” Levi ordered, and those who remained gladly turned tail for the more open areas. Thankfully that seemed to be the last of the titans. Samira heard the ground shaking in the distance, and when she looked back, she saw a few lumbering toward them, but they were far off, and she knew they could make it in time. As they approached, and the gates opened, she felt something strange on her face. When she brought her hand to it, she realized she was crying. 

She hadn’t even noticed herself begin, and yet she couldn’t seem to stop. It was so strange, that she couldn’t help but giggle at herself. The laughter bubbled out of her, and she shook with it. She wasn’t happy, and nothing was funny, but still her body shook as she laughed and the tears kept coming. Talia was looking at her with something akin to pure terror and she was worried she would never be able to stop until something hit her really hard in the head. 

“Keep it together, soldier.” Levi said, his voice stern, but not mean, like she might have expected. She nodded as reality sunk back into her skin. The pain did too. She swore she could see stars and her arms and legs ached from the strain she’d put them through. She hardly noticed as they rode through town and back into the army’s area. She slid down from the saddle with the rest and her legs wobbled. 

“Are you still with us?” Levi had followed her. 

“Yessir.” she answered sheepishly. She was ashamed of herself now. No one else had lost it like she had. But then, Talia suddenly ran up and hugged her really tightly, surprising both her and Levi. 

“You’re safe now, Samira. You’re inside the walls.” Talia said.

“That one...the beard...I’ve seen it before we killed it just now.” Samira had to let some of the poison out, her arms moving against her will to hug Talia back. She buried her face into the other girl’s jacket. “I’ve been inside its mouth.” The tears were returning, damn them. 

“The one that killed Riordan?” Talia choked out his name. 

Samira nodded, unable to say it. 

“How did...how did you get out?” Talia asked, because she had to know. 

“I...I stabbed it at the base of one of its teeth.” she said. “With my knife. Then...well...I got really lucky that it crunched my bow and left me just enough space to crawl out.” 

“God…” 

“That’s the one...well…”

“That you dream about?” Talia whispered.

“Yeah,” she admitted. 

“Samira…” Talia surprised her by holding her even more tightly. 

“You’re going to miss dinner.” Levi’s flat tone made them both jump. 

“Yessir.” They managed to say and followed him to the mess hall. 


	7. Mending Broken Souls

Talia, however, wretched at the idea of food. Her stomach tried to reject the little that she ate. She couldn’t get Riordan’s shocked and horrified expression out of her mind. And the blood...there had been so much blood. Sanguine fluid dripped off of every surface. Even now, the world was drenched in red. Talia shook her head and left the building, needing to get away. She didn’t know where she would go, but she had to escape the sea of red. Despite knowing it was all in her mind, Talia began to pace outside their temporary barracks. She had to keep it together. If she didn’t, she could very well die. Running a hand through her tangled hair, she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, hoping that the grotesque images would be gone when she reopened them. For the most part, they were, but she could still see the bloodstains on her hands. It was the blood of everyone she failed to save: her parents, her friends, her beloved, her comrades – they had all died and she couldn’t do a thing to stop it. Talia didn’t blame herself; she knew that the titans were at fault, but she desperately wished that she could have done more.

Once her mind had finally calmed, Talia began to wander through Shiganshina’s military base. It primarily housed the Garrison, but part of it had been allocated to the Survey Corps for the duration of the joint mission. Houses and large buildings passed by in a haze as she allowed her feet to take her where they may. She didn’t have a particular destination in mind, and wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings. Soon enough, she bumped into a boy in his late teens, hurriedly carrying boxes of medical supplies to the infirmary set up in the center of the military zone. Talia apologized and quickly helped him gather up the scattered rolls of cloth bandages that had fallen from the topmost parcel. The boy, Michael, thanked her, and Talia insisted upon helping him deliver the supplies.

The stench of blood filled the air at the infirmary. It made Talia gag, but she managed to avoid being sick. Steeling herself, she followed Michael past rows of beds filled with injured soldiers. Some were sporting broken bones and others, missing limbs. The lucky ones had simply come down with an illness due to the approaching winter. More than once, the pair had to flatten themselves against the beds or slip into one of the narrow aisles between them in order to avoid the medics and soldiers rushing past. Sighing with relief, Talia and Michael dropped off the supplies with a Garrison medic. Her uniform was similar to that of a normal soldier, but her jacket was white and reached her knees. It was mottled with various stains, the origins of which Talia didn’t particularly want to know. Most of it was probably blood.

“Thank you again, Ms. Talia,” Michael said, “I have to go report to Captain Fischer. Will you be able to see yourself out?”

“Oh, um, sure,” Talia sputtered. Michael nodded and began to take his leave, but Talia stopped him, “Wait!” He froze and turned to give her a confused look. “Is there...is there anything more I can do to help?”

Michael’s eyes widened. Not many people volunteered to help with this job. “Do you have any experience as a medic?”

Talia blushed a bit and admitted that it was nothing official. She paused, wondering how much would be safe to tell him. He couldn’t know that she used to work in the fields. Tending to her wounded compatriots had become a sort of unofficial job for her. But abandoning one’s duties in the fields was treason, and she wasn’t certain that the draft protected her from an execution – especially considering her profession had been bootlegging liquor when they’d found her. Still, Michael’s expression clearly said that he needed more information than what she had given him.

“I’ve never worked in an infirmary or anything, but I helped out a lot of injured fieldhands,” she explained. It wasn’t a lie, and she never explicitly stated that she, herself, had worked in the fields. That should be okay, right? Besides, the place seemed to be in a state of chaos. From Talia’s point of view, they needed all the help they could get.

“That’s still more than some of us have starting out,” Michael stated with a grin, “I’ll introduce you to Captain Fischer. We’re always short-handed around here, so I’m sure he can find something for you to do.”

“Thank you, Michael.”

Captain Fischer was a handsome man in his late twenties. He had a certain charm about him that put people at ease, despite his somewhat rough appearance. The man stood at nearly 180 centimeters and had a large, rugged frame. Though he was a doctor, he took his military training very seriously, and was always in top physical form in the event that it became necessary to act as a soldier rather than a healer. As a part of the Survey Corps, this was an unfortunately-common occurrence.

“Welcome back, Lance Corporal Day,” he greeted Michael formally, but wore a small, easy-going smile, “Everything in order?”

“Yessir,” Michael replied, before gesturing to Talia, “This is Cadet Faraday. I bumped into her on the way here, and she’d like to help the medical staff.”

Fischers deep sepia eyes met Talia’s caramel-colored ones. She quickly stood at attention, fist over her heart in the customary salute. He stared at her for what felt like hours, and it took all of Talia’s discipline to refrain from fidgeting beneath his intense gaze. What was he doing? Sizing her up? Trying to decide if she actually had what it took? Surely he wasn’t looking at her because he thought she was pretty.

“Faraday, was it?” Fischer finally asked.

“Yessir,” Talia replied, doing her best to keep her face a blank mask.

“Do you have any medical experience?”

Talia told him the same thing she’d said to Michael. Apparently, it really _was_ uncommon for anyone to have any idea what they were doing when they started out in the Medical Squad. Fischer was ecstatic when he heard the news – he looked like he wanted to kiss her. Honestly, Talia would have been okay with it if he had. Elias Fischer was rather an attractive man when he flashed his signature pirate smile.

He decided to have her act as his personal assistant for the evening in order to gauge her skill level and determine what sort of training she would need, should she decide to transfer to his squad. Talia honestly hadn’t expected that to be an option, but by the end of the night, she sincerely hoped that she would be able to do so. It was exhausting work, but she felt that strange sense of fulfillment that always came from helping others. Maybe she hadn’t been able to do enough for those she’d already lost, but at least she could still help those that were still here. Talia stumbled back to her bunk shortly after midnight and fell asleep with a small smile on her face. At long last, it felt as though she were doing something right.

That night, after dinner, the soldiers were tasked with taking an inventory of their gear and putting everything away. If it was not in working order, it would need to be replaced. Samira’s gear appeared to be functional, so she put it away. They would likely give her more gas for her tanks tomorrow, so she was free to go to bed or join the rest of the cadets – the ones who couldn’t sleep and wanted to mourn the dead – in the mess hall. She couldn’t do that, and it was too early for her to try to go to sleep in the stables. She thought about how Captain Levi had saved her from certain death, and realized she hadn’t really thanked him. It was getting a little late, but she thought he might still be in his office. 

She stopped just short of his door, silently rehearsing what she was going to say in her head, and promising herself she wouldn’t take long. She knocked softly, both hoping he was there and hoping he wasn’t. 

“Come in.” he said, and she opened the door slowly. “Yes?” He rose, a look of annoyance passing over his features. He was probably wondering if she was trying to get out of her chores.

“I…I didn’t want to take up much of your time, sir. But I...well, that is, during the mission...you...you saved my life, and I...well, I just wanted to thank you.” She clasped her hands behind her back to keep them from shaking. He watched her, and his eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Thank you for saving me. I wouldn’t be alive if you hadn’t helped me. I’m sorry to have been a bother.” She swallowed, trying not to cry again. He moved around the desk, closing the distance between them. 

“I said I would keep you alive, didn’t I?” His hand brushed her cheek. 

“Yes but you didn’t have to, and honestly you risked your life just because I--” He cut her off as his lips met hers. He was so tender at first, but then he gripped the back of her head and deepened it. She surprised herself as she kissed him back. 

He cut them both off to look her in the eyes. “Do you think that you don’t deserve to be alive, Cadet?” 

He didn’t let her answer, but instead kissed her roughly again. 

“This is what it feels like to be alive.” He spoke against her lips. Her hands found his hair, and she was amazed by how soft it was. He spun them so he pushed her against his desk. 

“That feeling that takes your breath away,” he pulled away to kiss her neck. “That’s one of the best parts of being alive. So don’t think,” he pecked her lips once more, “that you don’t deserve to feel this way. That you don’t deserve to be alive.” Finally he moved to kiss her forehead, and pulled her close to him.

“None of you deserved to be sent out so early.” He murmured into her hair. 

“Captain...what happened, it wasn’t--” 

“I know.” His voice cracked a little. He kissed the top of her head again, even though he was only just barely taller than her, and she held on tightly to him. She could feel the strength in his frame. She breathed deeply, he smelled like tea and soap. She didn’t know what brought this on, but she felt much safer in his arms. 

They stayed like that for a while, until finally he let her go. 

“I should let you get some sleep,” she muttered apologetically.

“I’m fine.” he shrugged. “No one else will sleep that much tonight either, I imagine.”

“Oh, and Horne?” 

“Yes?” She stopped on the way out of his office.

“I don’t expect anything...from this. I just…”

“It’s fine. I...needed to um...well I needed something like this.” She grinned weakly. 

“Don’t forget what I said about you deserving to be alive.” His voice was rough. 

“I won’t.” She closed the door behind her, her heart pounding. She didn’t think anything would come from this, and she didn’t hope for anything in particular. If anything, she didn’t know how to feel. Could she let him become something for her to lose? No. She couldn’t afford that. She shook her head and slapped her cheeks, trying to tell herself that that was the end of it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading what we have so far! There are a couple more chapters written, but they need editing and fleshing out. Hopefully we can get back to them soon. Let us know what you think so far!


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